Introduction: Kids Do Experience Hate		1
Part One: Understanding Hate and Where It Comes From
1.	From Birth to Teens: How Children Learn About Differences	13
	Infants - I Distinguish Between "Me" and Others	15
	First Discovery of "Others" .	16
	Toddlers - I Explore Differences	19
	First Questions About Differences	20
	Three- to Five-Year-Olds - I'm Learning to Interact with Others	22
	Self-worth Develops	24
	Children Are Not Color-blind	25
	Six- to Eight-Year-Olds - I'm Myself and I'm Part of Society .	28
	First Conscious Contact with Hate	30
	From Hate to Hope	32
	Nine- to Twelve-Year-Olds - Myself, My World, My Own Values	34
	Teenagers - I'm Independent, Except When I Need You	36
	Cruelty May Not Be Hate	38
	Conclusion	41
2.	Some Things That Make People Different from One Another	43
	Gender	44
	Sexual Orientation	48
	Race	54
	Religion	62
	Culture and Ethnicity	69
	Reacting to Differences	75
	Differences of Ability	80
	Conclusion	84
3.	Why Do People Hate?	86
	What Is Hate and Why Do People Feel it?	89
	Hating Out of Ignorance and Untrue Information	90
	"Kids, Kids, Remember What I Told You. . ."	94
	Hating Out of Fear of the Unfamiliar	96
	`I Am a Member of _____. That's Why l Haveto Say What I Have to Say; . . ."	98
	"I Believe 1 Should Speak Up. . . ."	103
	Hating Out of Hurt and Anger	104
	Role Models for Overcoming Hatred	110
	"Momma, Daddy Said We Shouldn't Hate"	113
	Conclusion	115
4.	What Can We Do About Hate?	116
	Talking to Your Kids	121
	Dialogue About Diversity	122
	Ground Rules	126
	Respecting Our Differences	130
	Conclusion	133
Part Two: Questions About Hate/Responses to Hate
Introduction		137
5.	Hello, World: Questions and Answers for Infants to Preschoolers	141
6.	Watch Out, Here 1 Come: Questions and Answers for Three- to Five-Year-Olds	147
	First Stereotypes	149
7.	Onward and Upward: Questions and Answers for Six- to Eight-Year-Olds	154
	Sample Scenarios	158
8.	Tweens: Questions and Answers for Nine- to Twelve-Year-Olds	166
	Clarifying Values	168
	Ask, Don't Tell, and Other Protocols	170
	Asking for Affirmation, Not Answers	175
9.	I Exist, Therefore I Embarrass You: The Teenage Years	181
10.	Name-calling	193
	What Parents Can Do to Respond to Name-calling	202
	When Your Child Uses Hurtful Names	203
	When Your Child Has Been on the Receiving End of Hurtful Words	205
11.	Joking	207
	Responding to Situations You Find Offensive: A Five-step Process	213
	Sexual Orientation and Disability Slurs	217
12.	Excluding, Zooing, and Other Inappropriate Behaviors	221
	Excluding	221
	Explore the Expressed Reason for Exclusion	225
	Responding to the Perpetrator	226
	Discuss How Exclusion Feels	231
	When Your Child Is the Victim	231
	Zooing	235
13.	Crimes of Hate: Physical and Emotional Violence	239
	Setting the Rules on Violence	242
	If Your Child Is Being Victimized	248
	Ask Questions	249
	Offer Help	249
	Don't Keep It Secret	250
	Common Questions	252
	When Your Child Is the Perpetrator	254
14.	Diversity Skills and Concepts	259
	Basic Diversity Skills	260
	Asking Questions	261
	Answering Questions	263
	Ten Key Concepts About Hate	266
Part Three: Challenging Hate Outside the Home
Introduction		271
15.	Combating Hate in Schools	273
	What Parents Can Do	275
	What Children Can Do	280
16.	Combating Hate in the Media - TV, Movies, Books	293
	Screening Television and Movie Messages	294
	TV and Movie Questionnaire	295
	Evaluating and Selecting Children's Literature	297
17.	Combating Hate on the Internet	304
	What Parents Can Do	306
	What Children Can Do	309
	Conclusion	310
18.	Making a Commitment to Change	311
	In Your Community	312
	In Your Workplace	315
	In Your House of Worship	317
	Resources	>319
	Organizations and Web Sites	319
	Selected Bibliography	322
	Permissions	331